The Living Truth Podcast - Freedom From Unwanted Sexual Behavior, Hope & Healing For the Betrayed

Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck & Kristin discuss anger after sexual betrayal -- what it actually is, why it shows up the way it does, and what both partners can do with it.

 

In this episode we cover:

• A clear definition of betrayal trauma anger and why it is immediate and ongoing, not a one-time reaction
• Survey findings on self-blame, anger at God, and the physical toll unprocessed anger takes on the body
• How Ephesians 4:26 -- 'be angry and do not sin' -- reframes anger as something to process, not eliminate
• Concrete ways a betrayer can sit with a partner's anger instead of reacting to it
• The difference between reactive abuse and abuse, and why that distinction matters
• Why suppressing anger is just as harmful as exploding with it

 

Crystal is a psychotherapist specializing in relationships, sex therapy, and trauma recovery, and the author of Betrayal Trauma Anger: You're Not Crazy, You're Angry, and You Should Be.

 

Learn more about our programs: Living-truthLiving Truth, Women in the Battle, Men in the Battle | sex addiction

 

The Living Truth Podcast: Conversations that shed light on the deeper issues that unlock healing from porn addiction, sex addiction, and sexual betrayal.

 

#LivingTruthPodcast #ChristianRecovery #FaithAndHealing #AddictionRecovery #MenInTheBattle #WomenInTheBattle #LivingTruth

 

We often assume our children don't notice what's happening in our marriage during a season of betrayal. Most of the time, they already know more than we think.

In this episode with Elia Marcum, certified coach who specializes in walking families through supporting their children and teens through family rupture without placing adult burdens on them.

We cover:

• What kids and teens actually pick up on, even when we think we've hidden it well
• Age-appropriate language for young children, middle years, and teenagers
• Why some kids quietly become "the easy one" — and what that survival pattern costs them
• How to open the door for a child to share what they're carrying, without forcing disclosure
• What real repair sounds like once a child's trust has been broken

Healing in a family doesn't stop at the marriage. It reaches every relationship in the home — and it can begin again at any age.

 

Grab the free resource Ellia mentions in this episode here

Learn more about our programs: https://living-truth.org

Connect with Elia at Moodwell Coaching: https://moodwellcoaching.com

Get a free Turning to Peace mini magazine here: https://ttpmagazine.gumroad.com/

 

The Living Truth Podcast: Conversations that shed light on the deeper issues that unlock healing from porn addiction, sex addiction, and sexual betrayal.

 

#LivingTruthPodcast #ChristianRecovery #FaithAndHealing #AddictionRecovery #MenInTheBattle #WomenInTheBattle #LivingTruth

We are inundated with negative, objectifying messaging about our bodies in the church and by our culture. As a result, most of us live disconnected from our bodies. When we struggle with pornography, sex addiction, or experience sexual betrayal , many of us experience even more disconnection from our physical bodies and maybe even a load of shame about this vital part of who we are.

 

Dr. Dave Janvier is a licensed therapist, certified sex therapist, and spiritual director who works at the intersection of faith, neuroscience, psychology, and spiritual formation. What he brings to this episode may reframe almost everything you have been taught about your body, desire, and what God actually intended sexuality to be.

 

Kristin and Dr. Dave explore:

• What it means to be embodied — and why most of us, men and women both, are profoundly disconnected from our bodies
• How the church's legacy of body-shame and flesh-as-sinful thinking has deepened the very wounds it was trying to prevent
• The healing power of the ancient Hebraic understanding of a unified, integrated self
• Why sex addiction is, at its root, an intimacy disorder — and why acting out doesn't mean someone is too into their body; it means they're not embodied enough
• How betrayal trauma fragments the nervous system in specific, predictable ways — and what integration actually requires
• What scripture reveals about what God's design for sexuality and why sexuality and spirituality cannot be separated
• A live grounding practice you can use today, in your body, right now

Your body is not the enemy. It never was. And the path back to wholeness is more integrated, spiritual, and grounded in hope than you may have been told.

 

Learn more about our programs: https://living-truth.org

 

The Living Truth Podcast: Conversations that shed light on the deeper issues that unlock healing from porn addiction, sex addiction, and sexual betrayal.

#LivingTruthPodcast #ChristianRecovery #FaithAndHealing #AddictionRecovery #MenInTheBattle #WomenInTheBattle #LivingTruth

📖 Learn more about our programs: https://living-truth.org

 

Connect with Dr. Dave Janvier :https://www.siimdasoulcare.com/

https://siimdasoulcarecourses.thinkific.com/

https://drdavejanvier.substack.com/

Sometimes when the betrayer reaches for the spouse they betrayed it feels like pressure, not comfort.

When she pulls away and he hears that as rejection, it can set off a cycle that pulls both further apart -- him bracing against the fear that he's losing her, her bracing against a nervous system that no longer feels safe near him.

 

In part one of this podcast series, we talked about why it is a normal reaction to the trauma of sexual betrayal for the betrayed partner to want closeness one moment and need distance the next.

 

In this episode, we go deeper into what that means for both partners, and what it actually looks like to take radical responsibility for our healing.

 

In this personal conversation about attachment and self-protection we share:

• How a betrayer's fear of their spouse's distance activates much younger places inside him
• How noticing a self-protective part in the middle of a hard conversation can change the trajectory of the conflict.
• Why curiosity and compassion, not explanation or defense, are what actually de-escalate conflict
• How to care for each other's young, tender places without taking responsibility for healing each other
• What it looks like when one spouse doing his or her own work creates enough safety for the other to do hers

 

This is a continuation of part one, but stands on its own if you're joining us here first.

Learn more about our programs: https://living-truth.org

 

The Living Truth Podcast: Conversations that shed light on the deeper issues that unlock healing from porn addiction, sex addiction, and sexual betrayal.

#LivingTruthPodcast #ChristianRecovery #FaithAndHealing #AddictionRecovery #MenInTheBattle #WomenInTheBattle #LivingTruth

You want him close. Then you can't stand to have him near you.

You want to fix it. You reach for her — and she disappears.

Same day. Sometimes the same hour.

That's not confusion or immaturity. It's two nervous systems trying to find safety in a marriage that no longer feels safe — and it's one of the most common, least talked-about dynamics after sexual betrayal.

Betrayal doesn't just wound the relationship. It activates attachment patterns and self-protection that trace back long before the marriage began — in both of you.

In this episode, we share our personal experience and professional insight into:

• Why a betrayed partner can want closeness one moment and need distance the next — and why that isn't inconsistency, it's a nervous system doing exactly what nervous systems do
• What happens inside the betrayer when his spouse pulls away — and why the instinct to push harder or shut down entirely can make things worse
• How childhood wounds and old self-protective patterns shape both partners' reactions to conflict and distance
• The difference between coming to your spouse with a genuine, vulnerable need and coming with a demand — and how to tell which one you're doing
• Why forcing closeness after betrayal can make a betrayed partner feel less safe, not more

This conversation is for both of you — the betrayed partner still learning the language of her own attachment, and the betraying partner working to understand what his self-protection is trying to do and why it keeps getting in the way.

 

Learn more about our programs: https://living-truth.org

 

The Living Truth Podcast: Conversations that shed light on the deeper issues that unlock healing from porn addiction, sex addiction, and sexual betrayal.

 

#LivingTruthPodcast #ChristianRecovery #FaithAndHealing #AddictionRecovery #MenInTheBattle #WomenInTheBattle #LivingTruth